January 2012
1 post
December 2011
13 posts
Temptation
Oh how I love turning it down for you nowadays. It isn’t temptation anymore it’s just things that would separate us and I don’t like them. So don’t worry anymore. My hands are willing to mend every and anything wrong with us. Perfection takes time but we will achieve it babe.
I haven’t been nervous like this in awhile. I think it’s because I’m actually losing you. At the same time it makes me tip toe, nervous, butterflies. I Love it.
Changes
I think I heard His voice. I think you dont listen to mine much anymore. I offered to take you to Corona. To sit by the water with a quesadilla pizza and take a stroll on the san catching up. You know even just for an hour. I was so nervous to see you last night. I sped there. I wanted to be on time, I wanted to just show you things changed; I’ve changed. I just … I just wana smile...
& Strangers is what We Will Be
I can’t begin to retract how bad it is that I have apparently been in your life. I’m sorry. I’m finally feeling the depth of it. Kinda wish you could calm my anxst attack. Sorry.
When I do what you ask you think I don’t, but I’m really just leaving you alone. I don’t wan’t to. I really would do anything not to, but I have to.
Stop.
Stop being so mean to me. I don’t say that girls glorify me what the fuck? I’m sorry if me being a nice person attracts friendly relationships. Stop being a fucking cunt to me 24/7 I grew up and just wanted to sit and talk about life and catch up. I need to find a place and I just needed your input because I love hearing it. I’m watching a presentation in class on Domestic abuse...
What I miss about you most was when it was freezing outside and you would meet me in a black Peacoat in front of my English class with some outrageous flavored 7/11 coffee. You would lean in towards me and kiss me with your warm, soft lips and I could smell your hazelnut breath and taste the sour tinge as you pulled away. In my mind, your lips are what I remember most.
Hard Day's Night
Last night my room got rolled on with 7 people drinking a handle, three bottles, six mickeys, and a few four lokos. I wasn’t in the room when this happened but I walked up just as the RA’s did. Kyle, Murphy, Me, and possibly Oreo and Spencer are all fucked. I’m looking for a place right now but I’m sweatin’ finding a job and paying rent and making myself food. I need...
November 2011
4 posts
Me:
Idk what your doing, where you are, or if you’re free; but I would like to say bye later. Call me if you can, if not it’s fine.
Her: Goy yr fb message. Have a safe drive back.
Me:Yr not gonna say bye?
Her: That was my goodbye.
Grew
I took this seed and as it grew,
pulled from one but now we’re two
created our respective point of view
etched up our picture of what we drew
numbers, spending, and income too
North we said- would be our new Krew
But what we saved…we only blew
I’m sorry my love, that the way we grew
couldn’t have been held, preserved, kept
instead you ask me to start Anew.
Connor...
Forward
Take away your dwelling and look forward. Requests, requests, requests is all I ever get any more. People who KNOW me today, realize who is in front of them- or rather their understanding of what’s in front of them. I am 18 years old and a young Adult. I have grown so, so much and arguing these days is simply not in the books. I’m not always bitter or angry, I’m just stern with...
September 2011
6 posts
22 September 2011
I’m finally settled in this new place. I like my friends, experiences, and sometimes even the school work. I just hope I am able to stay above water with my book work. Today I am happy to be alive and I love that cool morning air that kisses my face when I smoke a pre-class cigarette. I am finally getting stable with myself and learning just to smile at the things that pass by and embrace...
The Way I See It
Right now college has brought me to a new fork in the road. I can see a future with her that has seemed to be destiny for almost three years. We can be given the opportunity to struggle together or apart. It’s dangerous standing on the edge of whats feasible and what we can change with the very strength of our voice. Babe you’re dangerous.
1 tag
When you're in public and a good song starts...
imasiaa:
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Follow Tastefully Offensive, it’s a hilarious blog
OHMYGOD. LARRY & THAT RANDOM ASIAN DUDE AT BROOKE’S FASHION SHOW.
Don't Bother.
Stop Fucking Bitching, stop fucking hurting me, stop fucking picking apart every little thing. I’m fucking in Chico struggling and I want a friend to talk to and all you can do is complain. I have turned down so many people here and said “NO” and I haven’t been searching. All I do is talk about you, scream for you, drink for YOU so if you are done then fucking get as far...
August 2011
1 post
Stop begging for a new boy to “give it to you” [what you deserve]. Just be you for awhile because it’s good sometimes. I learned that up here and I love being myself. If you look back you have always either been happy as fuck over a boy or broke down over one or in a hospital. I’m trying to please just say find a way to find your nirvana. A boy isn’t it yet and...
July 2011
4 posts
Awesome day. Beach with the girls, lunch with the guys and hopefully an epic night. Every Little Thing is gonna be alright. When Life hands you lemons, paint those bitches gold.
I never knew how every word in this song depicts...
Lowkey: I miss you. Highkey: I can’t be happy without you; at least not for awhile.
Oh, and I have feelings too.
I have become a secret and yeah, cool, sick. That can or may be fun for you for a little while; but at what expense? I stood up against what everyone says just to stand next to you and enjoy the little things. But who am I? 32 months later I am still just “someone” eh? If I have to be “someone” how long until you push us into No One?
June 2011
9 posts
Today Went well I guess I mean had a family BBQ, went to the jacuzzi, and decided to crash out at home tonight. Got to wakeup early for a workout then hopefully do something epic. Join me?
Well today was quite interesting, yet relaxing. Woke up at fucking like 8:30 to go to the Bridge church to help out at the nursery. The good news is I didn’t get struck by lightning haha:D Then I hung around the house for a bit and met up with Will, Drasko, and lyss for a skate sesh. We had a BBQ with carne asada and quesadillas! Shit was Bomb. Ended the day with a frosty from Peppertree and...
text/call me. phone was dead.
Oh What A Wonderful World
Got my tat appointment tomorrow(: Then I’m headed down to see miss Dixie I think. Friday I’m stoked for breakfast with my Momma and then got work bleh. Life’s been very up and down to me lately, but regardless I’m finding fun shit to do. It’s just no consistent people anymore cuz everyone’s on to the next thing over and over again. Approximately 8 weeks til I...
Why Is it always my fault? Can A breakup just be solid and understandable? Seriously, even when I know I was just moving on not starting drama. Leave it alone and if it doesn’t bother you then why’re you always talking about it? goodnight world.
Like a Ton of Bricks
It’s as if the breakup happened today, I’m just now slowly letting myself realize there will never be an US again. People say it’s just another one of our stupid breakups- but we both know the truth. I’ve been doing so well and keeping the thought off my mind. If I sense it coming I just shrug it off before it even comes on. I’m strong as hell. Still haven’t...
Oh how I plan to turn my Summer around. I’m gonna hit the beach, try yoga, go on sick adventures, skate hills, and just enjoy life. My anxiety HAS to go and I needa be out-going like I once was. Hmm, and I can’t wait to see where this new company and this new attitude can take me. Well world I’m off to bed; I’m not sure how such a screwy day turned into such a positive...
Laughed how exact this song was on my mood today.
An Epiphany
It’s weird really. How much you remind me of how I felt my freshmen year. I’ve almost gone back to how I used to be and feel. Jealousy isn’t quite the same as it once was. I’m not like angry and jealous but more of a let down one, because you aren’t mine so I can’t be upset, just skeptic. I’m realizing that I don’t want anyone now I just wana hold my...
May 2011
2 posts
“It’s not about forcing happiness, It’s about not letting sadness win”
Try To Defend Your Case by Reading All The Bad Things You Wrote About Me On Tumblr.
April 2011
2 posts
What Doesn't Kill Us Makes US Stronger
I hate seeing you upset. It triggers the half of my brain that wants to take it all back and move far, far away with you and hide under the sheets from the world. The way I see it is if we move now then there will always be the wondering of how the dorms could have been. If I can experience it and then we get to move in and have our own place there will be no hesitation. On the scale of OUR lives...
March 2011
1 post
Midnight Highway
When Work is cancelled, plans ended, and I’m sitting at home alone. That’s when things really fall apart. I didn’t think it was possible to have a bad trip to my hometown but we managed to utterly destroy it. One night ended in puking uncontrollably and almost calling an ambulance. The other was just straight burnt. I’m never smoking that much ever again. On another note,...
February 2011
5 posts
The Reason
The reason I left like this was because it’s truly the only way left to try. You, no We, are unable to let go while we are in contact. Time and time again you are proving how you are codependent on either me or another. I came online to write how I feel and how everything is just a step above falling apart. But instead I’m here to say, 2 days sober, 2 days away from you, and 2 days...
Up and Down Down Down.
Today was the first day of my sobriety, the first day with absolutely no contact with her, and the first day of the rest of my life. I’m scared for my future but its okay ill just take it one day at a time. I’m fortunate enough to have a wonderful girl by my side who really cares about me. I have been so fucked up to her in the past but I’m ready to show you the Connor you never got to meet ms....
Lyrics I write
to be frozen
completely locked within
the vision of a familiar sound
even if just for a second, can lift you off the ground
the sight begins to blur,
but you continue to stare as each vision turns to a condescending fur
fuzzy, potentially heartfelt, but sad nonetheless
torn out of your stomach… not heart,
because thats where the pain is placed
the feeling of being lost, replaced
January 2011
1 post
You Fucked Him; I left. What Don't the Bitches...
November 2010
11 posts
help.